Today I met a new leader at Bethel, well met isn't really the right term, that would imply a meeting, this was a counseling session. Those are a lot of fun, sort of. You can imagine a nice comfortable setting with the counselor to whom you're about to bear your soul but here you have to add 12 interns learning from the process. Fun isn't quite the right term but it'll do for now.
As you may know my wife passed away five years ago and the circumstances preceding her condition/illness were not the best. As a result I've had a couple of seasons of counseling. If you've ever wondered about counseling I have one question for you, would you like to work through a problem at your pace or would you like someone to accelerate that processing time? If you want to work it out on your own, go ahead.
So I sat before the group, ready to bear my heart because I realized I could say nothing and that's exactly what would happen or I could seize the moment. So I cracked a few jokes to ease the tension and dove in.
I began following a familiar line of discussion, laid a foundation for all to understand the heart of the issue and then said one word which turned the next hour completely upside down. As I described everything I hit a word I'd never connected before, the accuracy and intensity of it unglued me in an instant. In all of the previous counseling I'd never been emotional about the subject. I was simply tied shut over it. It had been impossible for me to cry, I was locked up but release was about to come. That one word broke me as I because I'd never connected it to the centrality of my situation.
From there the session was simply the most incredible exposure and revelation; care and restoration I think one could have. You place someone with a lifetime of pain whom the Holy Spirit has been priming and making ready for redemption in the hands of the most tender, caring, spirit led leader I have ever met and you can only imagine what happens.
This is not just ask a question, get an answer, then process. This is the counselor saying "I see this...", "I see this...." one by one describing the internal prisons, why they were locked and how to get free. I understood why his words were so penetrating when he said "Jesus knows, I've seen Him, He knows."
His tenderness was beyond anything I've ever experienced; his comfort and compassion were redemptive in and of themselves. The moment I cracked at the first word he was at my side on his knees. The Holy Spirit is a dove and He was allowed to manifest in the most sensitive nature of that expression. I am full of thanks for such skillful care of the human heart, the most valuable of all earthly treasures.
