Emotional Maturity

Your emotional stability is directly tied to your awareness of other's needs.

Think of children, they're emotionally volatile because they're completely self-absorbed. Their emotional state is never adjusted to account for those around them.

Now see the other end of the spectrum, Jesus endured the most self-deprecating experience possible because of the joy that was set before Him (Heb 12:2). His joy was knowing the way to God would be made available by His sacrifice. His emotional state was completely balanced by His awareness of others.

Maturity is simply being aware of and attending to the needs of others around you.

Love's Moment

I don't think I've ever watched a more moving advert than a Portugese ad by LG - Momentos. 

The sidewalk offered little comfort against the chilly night, his blankets made a poor bed. At least the store with a For Lease sign in front of the brown paper covering its windows had no owner or activity to drive him away. This night however was different, two men pulled up in a white van, carried three LG TV's and put them in the window. He cracked an eye to watch but didn't really care. They turned on the TV's, pulled down the paper and left. The light caught his attention and he sat up to watch. Two other homeless men joined him, they laughed at the scenes but the two were annoying and he drove them away. Sad and alone again he continued to watch.

Observing his attention, a controller in a parked car made a call, TV's flicker and suddenly he was watching himself. Surprised, at being on TV and by his appearance, he touched his beard, surprised at how long it had grown. After a moment someone drops in a DVD, once again the TV's flickered but this time it was his life. His wife, his daughter, Christmas, opening gifts, they were much younger, he was clean shaven and they were all laughing. The images began a subtle work as they softly shone love's pure light into his hardened heart. At first a faint smile, then tears, his daughter holds out a flower to the camera and he instinctively reached toward the TV for it.

At that moment, the van rolls up again, a man walks out of the store and into the van, the homeless man turns to look. Two people got out on the far side of the van, it pulls away to reveal his wife and daughter. A much older daughter, in her early twenties, carrying a teddy seen in the Christmas scene. Electric emotions filled the air. The daughter's love is tangible as she longingly looked at her father, the wife hesitated, motionless between hope and rejection.

These are the moments all of us face, we all make mistakes, we hurt people and people hurt us. We drift off course and like the homeless man, we find ourselves away from home and not sure if we're welcome back.

His daughter's love was tangible, it reached out, his heart was kindled but self doubt was present and he faced the greatest struggle of his life. His feet shuffled backwards, love drew his heart but failure resisted. He was unsure what to do.

Love does the same to us. It confronts our condition, it reveals our reasons and that's the problem with love. It's confrontational, it's active, it doesn't turn a blind eye or look away, it stares straight into the depth of our heart, removes all the excuses and calls us to action. It's more powerful than all of our failings but on its own it's not enough, one more ingredient is necessary. It requires hope. Without hope love is short circuited into a temporary fix. Hope gives honor to the giver and breaks the cycle of selfishness. Unless hope is kindled the giver will be betrayed and the cycle of hurt deepened.

Hebrews highlights the same concept with "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hope is the hanger upon which faith is hung. Without hope, faith doesn't work. A man without hope cannot respond correctly to love. Hope then is the very fabric of change and what moves a man from stagnation to success.

On a cold sidewalk, love met hope, the daughter ran to her father, his hesitant arms slowly embraced his daughter, his wife drew in as she embraced them both and smiled as he started his journey home.

Trap and Win

My three year old boy loves to find me in the house, lie at my feet and yell "Trap!" I straddle him tightly and see if he can wriggle free. If he can't, he begins to cry but I've learnt it's as fake as whipped topping or rhinestone jewelry because the moment he gets free, he laughs and yells "Trap!" Now when he starts to cry, with fatherly encouragement I tell him "Fight! Come on, get free. You can do it!" He presses hard, I shout some more, he's not sure if he can win but he struggles to freedom - a sweeter victory than if I'd played easy. 

It's a fun game but I have a deeper purpose. It takes guts to win in life. The myriad forms of resistance cause us to either whine or dig deeper. I want him to win, so it's a simple game but I'm determined to teach my boy he can win in every circumstance, even when it seems impossible.

Modern Indulgences

I have a question for you. In the middle ages the church was known for selling indulgences. Purchasing an indulgence took care of two needs. The first was a punishment for your sins, a way to make you feel bad for offending God. The second, a way to reduce your debts of sins in purgatory. Purgatory was a place after death where you paid off your sins. This strategy was marketing genius, a consistent revenue stream and overall hideous idea.

It relied on failing to see Jesus as the price paid for all sins and faith as the way to obtain forgiveness. It was in essence a material way to earn a spiritual blessing.

When we look at Jesus we never see anyone offer Him money for forgiveness or healing. The example continues with the apostles and nothing is ever exchanged for a miracle. Jesus said "Freely you have received, freely give."

Do you think the modern church deals in indulgences?

If healing and forgiveness are free, why is there such a culture of "Wrap your seed around your need."? Where is the New Testament example of giving related to a miracle? It's very easy to see the errors of the medieval church. Forgiveness was perceived as difficult to receive and money was a way to earn forgiveness, yet we know it's as simple as believing. Why do we think it necessary to give in order to receive? Isn't it as simple as belief?

The bible details a very clear example of giving to receive. Paul said with the same measure that you give you will receive but he clarifies what you receive. He said "men will give into your bosom" that means money. If you need money, sow. The bible is expressly clear on that. The church should also be expressly clear on the fact that it needs money to run. If you don't give, your church can't pay the light bill. The last time I checked you couldn't pay your power bill with happy smiles.

What drives this message of money for miracles? I could guess but one thing I know, it doesn't take your money + Jesus to get a miracle. Jesus is sufficient all on His own. In fact the man credited with having great faith in the gospels put forth the least amount of human effort. He resisted Jesus coming to his house and simply said "Speak the word and my servant will be healed." The least amount of human intervention brought the maximum amount of divine intervention.

So what do you think of wrapping your seed around your need? Is it biblical or indulgent?

Rain

Living on the mountain we have no city water and depend on the rain. We have a main tank for the house and a small one for plants. I filled a couple of buckets from the smaller one for my son to play with today. At three, he loves the water. He pours it on the plants, the chairs, over the side of the deck or simply tips the bucket upside down for fun. It was hard as a parent to watch the waste without intervening but it's an essential part of play and I let him be.

I was struck with the comparison that God has given us this world "hands off". We have total reign over His precious creation, including us. How would we act if we were keenly aware of His watchful eye? Would we be so cavalier or might there be a greater appreciation of all He has given us and a hesitation to mistreat His creation and creatures?

Photo copyright US Air Force - Technical Sergeant Mike Buytas

I live on the edge of the rainforest, every day there's a fight here. A fight for the rainforest's most valuable commodity. Sunlight. Water is in abundant supply but sunlight is almost impossible for seedlings to find. Occasionally a giant tree may fall leaving a brief moment for the most aggressive to dominate but it's a tough fight on the forest floor. One fig wins the battle in a most underhanded way. When a bird or lizard eats fruit from the Strangler Fig some of the seeds get deposited in crevices at the top of huge trees, giving them direct access to sunlight. Over a long period of time the fig sends down fine roots. When they reach the ground the plant kicks into a growth spurt, sending down additional roots and growing leaves. The root network encircles the tree above and below ground, strangling its roots and trunk. The host tree eventually rots out from the fig leaving a twisted hollow reminder of the tree on the inside.

As we journey through life there are seeds of thoughts which are dropped in our minds. Some of those thoughts are aggressive, bitter thoughts. They often stem from real offenses, and may be justifiable. If left unattended, like the Strangler Fig, they overtake and begin to strangle us, cutting off who we used to be. Crippling our lives with bitterness and pain, leaving a hollow, distorted image of who we once were.

Forgiveness gently removes those seeds and their roots. It's not about the perpetrator, it's ultimately about us. Forgiveness returns us to who we truly are. Removing bitterness can be hard work, there's something sickly attractive about it. It just feels good to nurse. Forgiveness is not about saying that what was done was OK, it's about letting love win. Bitterness is like drinking poison waiting for your enemy to die. Put the cup down and begin by simply saying the words "I forgive" If you're faithful to press in, real forgiveness will come and you'll return to the authentic you, nothing could be sweeter.

Some offenses are very graphic, if you find it hard, locate someone who can help walk you through the process.

Thanks to Pastor Greg for the fig tree example.

Isolating Trouble

From the beginning of time man has been discovering and isolating elements and chemicals. 6000 years ago man discovered how to extract iron, in 1933 Walter Haworth isolated Vitamin C. When these essential components were in their natural environment their properties were much harder to interpret. Once isolated they became much easier to interact with and understand but these discoveries do not come easily, the journey to isolate Vitamin C took over 25 years.

In a similar way, we are complex beings, an intricate weaving of upbringing,experience and environment. There are many interactions happening inside us, some good, some not. A particular reaction to an event may have a single source but like iron or Vitamin C in their original environment, that source is difficult to see when mixed with all our other thoughts and emotions. If one is brave enough, it's incredibly valuable to take the time to sort through the myriad of internal interactions and get to the core thought. Isolating this thought may take significant time and effort but once isolated it becomes much easier to understand. At this point both the thought's effect and origin can be determined. If the effect is determined one is able to identify the feelings associated with that thought. Being aware of the thought and it's feelings become an early warning system that allows one to avoid the thought before it takes us over. Understanding the origin of the thought gives a method to undo the very root of the problem.

So next time your reaction catches you off guard or your behaviour is not becoming, get a trusted friend, sit down, get honest, and dig into the details. Pull each layer of thought apart until you get to the core. You'll simply know when you get there and with that thought isolated you will see a clear way forward.